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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Scary Logic

So I just had the most terrible dream. I was driving along, not knowing where I was going. I was on the phone and I remember having my windows down, it had to be summer. Sounds great this time of year doesn't it? As I was driving along, I instantly sensed something was wrong, I was driving in what seemed to be the grass of an exit or entrance ramp. The grass was so tall and I couldn't see, I was out of control before I knew it. My car started flipping, turning, rolling at a 55mph tear of violence. My body was nothing but a rag-doll it seemed. Tossing about as if the inside of the car were a blender and my body was the ice, it was awful. When the accident finally stopped, I believe I fell out of the window as the car laid to rest on its' side. A gentleman rushed to my assistance. Minutes later I was standing, but barely. My knees were so far screwed up that I couldn't walk normally on them anymore. I called my mom and couldn't remember if I had told her that I got in an accident, so I kept telling her, "Mom, I got into an accident," and "Mom, did I tell you got into an accident?" She kept acknowledging me but I just kept telling her.

Then I woke up. My heart was racing.

At the end of this strange dream, I just had the urge to write this blog, so it has to be important in some way. Here we go:

All one's life, you are constantly tested, whether it be physically taking a test, mentally being challenged, or even socially. You're tested and tested and tested until school is over. This is how we measure our progress. Am I performing up to "the standard"? What can we do to improve? What must be done now? Is there any extra credit? I think we are so trained to think that we need to be tested to measure self-worth; that we can't "open our eyes", look back, and see there has been progress (without an actual exam).

Again, I don't know why, but this just seems important.

If anyone gets to the point where they feel they are incomplete, inadequate, or even lost that there is no test in the near future, don't think you're a failure because there is no physical test. It may seem scary to one who has never really opened their eyes to look back. One may need that tangible result to feel that something must be done when really all they have to do is look in the mirror. Self-worth is all too important to worry about what others think, what we've been trained to think. Tested over and over again to live up to others' standards. This is not an accurate scale for self-worth. You can only measure your self-worth by taking a long hard look at everything you have experienced and, if you're reading this, have gotten through, or have succeeded in accomplishing. No matter what others' standards may be, you have succeeded in some way or many ways, embrace this feeling, not too many people do.

So take a seat, grab your pencil, and flip open your booklets. How are you going to score on this test?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

If You Can't Stand the Heat, Just Stay on The Couch, We'll Take Care of You

So I know its been a while since I've created a blog post and I apologize to those that read and enjoy them. However these thoughts in my head have just been brewing and brewing and brewing. It's really starting to get to be too much and I have to let them out. *Side Note* This is a vent, if you disagree and would like to be vented at further please comment. PLEASE. However, if you agree, you're probably one of my great friends and you know where I'm coming from and how much this ticks me off, or you just have a job and don't like getting screwed either.

I was thinking about doing this note after the fact but I'll get it out of the way now for viewers sake: If you have a LEGITIMATE reason to receive benefits or aid, I am not attacking you.

I have serious issues with people who are comfortable mooching off others, it bothers me. This whole post is based off of this topic, if you don't like it feel free to click the "x" on the current tab or browser window.

I think the government is so far beyond screwed up and that everything is backwards, and I know people say this all the time but if our Founding Fathers saw what the deal is with the government they'd turn over in their graves. And it's not just the government, its also some of the citizens.

My main problem that I have with the government, aid programs, people who are on aid programs for the wrong reason, is that we're rewarding the wrong people. Why would you reward people for being lazy? I get so pissed off anytime these topics are discussed because I cannot stand moochers. Why give someone stuff for sitting on their hiney and doing nothing when they (those who are) are perfectly capable of doing just about anything, including just about any entry level, bottom-of-the-totem-pole kind of jobs? What bothers me is the people who are just too damn lazy to do anything. The ones with a fully-functioning brain, whether or not their thoughts are stupid, two legs with feet attached, and two arms with hands at the end of them. The ones who intentionally slack because they know they will get handed stuff to survive.

If you have a job and you need the SUPPLEMENTAL help that is fine by me, you are trying at least.

I know people that have friends that have cell phones when they're on foodstamps. Not just cell phones but things like cable, internet, they smoke cigarettes. These friends also have BRAND NEW CARS, new jewelry, new this, new that, PETS (very costly investment), discounted things that shouldn't be discounted because they are too lazy to get a job! What kills me though is discounted school for those who WILL NOT give anything back to society. So now I, or people who will work and will contribute, have to pick up their tab because they're a scumbag. How is that my fault? Why don't I get a discount on school for giving back? Why do I have to buy a small beater car, 1997 Ford Escort, which is PURPLE so someone else can have a new car of their color choice with all the money they save from not buying food because they are on food stamps. How are we ok with this? Honestly, it drives me insane.

Again, if you have a legit reason to have these aid programs I AM NOT ATTACKING YOU. If you're lazy however, I AM ATTACKING YOU. Get a damn job. Work for something, be proud of your work, everyone has jobs, why can't you have one besides being an unofficial Lay-Z-Boy tester (which you probably got for free)?

"But there aren't any jobs... :( "
Bullshit, absolute bullshit. I am currently working two jobs, I've even considered looking for a 3rd job! Granted, one of my jobs requires a degree, that's fine, the other one does not and anyone could do it. And guess what, there are still more jobs out there. I bet you Circle K is hiring for the night shift, I bet you Giant Eagle/Walmart/Marc's is looking for a cart person. I bet you any place that has public restrooms is looking to hire someone for a cool $7.25 an hour to clean them, I'm sure you could find a job flipping burgers somewhere, fast food places almost always need more people. Just look! No, don't just look. Apply. Physical effort and paper application are implied in applying. Get off your butt, get off your high horse, and get on the payroll at friggin Dairy Queen. Any job is better than no job. I would never try and bring down anyone who has a job, I respect people who have jobs.

On top of that, don't give me that "I won't do that." I bet if you had your aid programs pulled out from under you like a rug and you had nothing supporting you other than your spine, you would "do that" in a heartbeat. Oh wow, you have to actually do some heavy lifting or clean toilets? It's a job, what do you expect when you go to WORK? I know what I expect and its not really a shocker either, ready for it? I expect to WORK. If you just spit your Kool-Aid out in disgust for the previous statement, I sincerely apologize for offending you. Almost. I've had so many different jobs and I started when I was 13! There are jobs out there!

I just cannot stand footing the bill anymore for lazy people. I shouldn't have to work to support 3 other people when they are perfectly able to get a job themselves, unless it's my family. I'll loan someone money from time to time and not expect anything back but you know what, I'd rather be able to lose the occasional $5 to someone who is in a pinch over not being able to lose that $5 because I don't want to get a job. But maybe I'm the person to blame for this vicious cycle of joblessness, helplessness, laziness, etc. because I WILL spot the occasional five bucks.

This really has to change soon. Do you want to keep buying things for other people? I want to hear your thoughts.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

L.I.F.E. - Looking Inside & Future Evaluation

I am truly blessed.

I am. I cannot believe what this past 7-8 months has done for me and I can't believe how great it has been.

If you can't handle a happy, cheesy, post, get out now (and read my other blogposts about outlooks! and my daily approach to life: & because this post is purely positive, as most of mine are.

I don't know of too many people who can say they LOVE their job, do you? Most of you who read this will probably say no. And I feel for ya, I have had a few jobs that I just couldn't stand. Cleaning bathrooms at a golf course, working in a grocery store for six years, working on grounds crew at my school, pretty much anything before I graduated. Since then I have had 3 jobs, one was a temporary thing that well worth the ride. The other two are my current jobs. More details you ask? Let's have a looksie at what I'm talking about.

Working for R&E Tours, an educational touring company, really opened up my eyes to something, I know basically nothing. For the month I worked with R&E Tours I went to Washington D.C. twice, Arlington National Cemetery, Gettysburg, Notre Dame, and Chicago. I have acquired my thirst for knowledge and facts while traveling to these different locations and a few more. Since my travels I have looked up facts and information on the internet, I have downloaded "Fact Apps" & "Grammar Apps" (I was never good with grammar, and my girlfriend had just recently purchased me a book full of fun and interesting facts. I love learning new things and I kind of wish I had this thirst for knowledge before heading to school but I guess it is better late than never. I've learned a lot and I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

As you may have read in past posts, or if you've talked to me over the last two to three months, you know that I have been substitute teaching. At first, I never thought that this would a be a big impact on my life, it was merely a suggestion by a former high school teacher to pick up a couple of bucks. However, I must say one thing in regard to the initial thought of just a way to make money, WOW. I am amazed at how much I enjoy substitute teaching, it is an absolute blast. Not only do I get to make a slight difference in kid's lives but I get to dress up every day for work. I love throwing on shirts, ties, and sweaters, all thanks to the big bro Eddie Sulecki !
  Back to the action, it feels great to be able to teach these kids, what a privilege it is. If you're wondering I am "The Cool Sub" but not because I just let them bs, nope, not at all. I actually teach what the teacher leaves me to teach them. Obviously if it's grammar or another subject I'm not comfortable with (or don't know) I'll stick to the worksheets, but if I do know the subject enough then you better believe I'm teaching that day. And I love it, its truly fun and I cannot believe I have the opportunity to do teach children when I'm still a young chap myself.

I also work at the Geneva Lodge and Conference Center. I never would have thought that I would've had a job in my desired field a year out of college, however I got a job in six weeks with a phenomenal company. It's a great place to work and I truly love it, I belong in this field, I know it. There are times when I find myself waking out of a slight daze to find myself thinking "Yep, I'm at work right now." but it doesn't seem like work. Which, again, is just amazing. I love my job. Whether I'm driving the wine shuttle or working the front desk, working with people is my passion. I am grateful to be working in this industry and I hope to grow and expand to greater things soon!

I was talking to my friend Shane's mom the other night and I was telling her how much I enjoyed my jobs and how I wouldn't trade them for anything. I'm truly blessed to be in my current situation.

All this talk about jobs has made me thirsty, temporary break in typing is necessary, diet mountain dew break.

On top of my jobs I still have my family, friends, and girlfriend.

I have finally achieved what I believe to be a nice balance in spending time with all three. I have had some time with the guys, some time with family, and some time with my girlfriend. There have been times where they overlap as well, gf & family together, friends & family, and gf & friends too! It has been great and again would not trade what I have for anything.

I am truly blessed.

These above topics make me think of my future. It is really exciting to see everything fall into place and work out so well. I expect it to only go uphill from here as I continue to work and build my friendships and relationship. If things keep shaping up the way they are right now then I have good reason to believe that the trend will continue. I may surprise myself along the way or I may be surprised by my great situation I am in now as well. Life is GREAT and I am so thankful for all who have been a part of it.

The future is exciting and nervous but I have the tools to control it and make it mine.

One last little note: My comedy has not sucked lately.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

High Expectations and Outlooks

Anyone remember that segment of Mad TV "Lowered Expectations"? Where it showed people with really awkward tendencies and habits as part of a dating website, there was always a guy scratching his ass as he was walking away too. I hated that segment. So Stupid. It always pissed me off whenever I stayed home from school when I was sick and I watched Mad TV, it seemed to always be on that day and those particular reruns, annoyed the heck out of me.

Moving on.

In life there are always people boosting you up when you're younger. "I have high hopes for Davey..." or "Hailey plays the trumpet so well..." or "Yada yada yada". Whatever it is there have almost always been high expectations for most individuals. And people loved when you met those expectations and bought you ice cream when you didn't, which is probably why I was a plump little boy. Still am.

Now as we grew up there were different sorts of pressures on us. Peer pressure. Dating especially was a big one, if you didn't have a bf or gf throughout high school it seemed like you were looked at differently than those who had dated. It was just weird to me that just the fear of being looked at differently made people do some things that, in my opinion, were silly or unnecessary, but as we all know social status is a thing that we all value in life. How popular one is or what kind of car one drives was far more important than being smart or successful in non-social terms (at least this was the case in high school). People were so concerned with how others viewed them that they would lower their high expectations or standards. As I mentioned, dating was a huge factor. Students, kids, friends, as result of feeling left out, would lower their expectations just to be accepted. And thats fine, I understand how it feels to be left out and I know how it feels to have a great group of friends too (accepted). I have seen many people lower their standards or change their expectations of what they want in a companion (yep I'm old, I just said companion).

I am happy to say that I didn't lower my standards or expectations and it has been great. I have some pretty freakin' awesome friends and a great girlfriend. These people are what make me and I am thankful for them.

Now, I didn't change my standards or expectations but I did change my outlook and that has made a world of difference. If I hadn't changed my outlook I'd still be a miserable person with high hopes and a shit-ton of ice cream. Changing an outlook from a negative outlook or an outlook that doesn't acquire the desired results to a positive or more productive outlook is a great way to improve your life. So do it. Change that outlook, stick to it, and possibly change your life.

I remember quite a few instances when my brother or friends would tell me to lower my standards because I am not going to find this "perfect person" that I envisioned. But I stuck to it. Again, I found my friends and my girlfriend who are all awesome people. I love them all even though sometimes it may not seem like it, but I truly do. Life is good.

All in all, what I'm getting at is DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. EVER. You deserve the best and you're ultimately the only person who can control what you get. Just because other influences on your life gesture or say otherwise doesn't mean that you still don't deserve something incredible.

Contradiction of thought: Ice cream is incredible and free ice cream is better.

Solution to contradiction: Buy ice cream with good reason to celebrate.

P.S. - Don't work 3rd shift if you can help it.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Do You Know Your Enemy?

No, no, not the Green Day song, do you know who the person is that has held you back all your life? Possibly one of your teachers? A childhood friend who has weighed you down? Your parents? Siblings? A neighbor possibly? I don't want to sound mean but I think quite a few people understand or know that, if they had just dropped some "dead weight" in their life, they could be a little bit more successful. There are some people in our lives that maybe take an alternate route along the way and it ultimately sidetracks us from what we wish to accomplish. You want to know who that person was in my life? You really want to know? Me. It was me for the first 18 years of my life. I was my biggest obstacle. I was my biggest challenge. I cared so much about making other people happy that I didn't even tend to my own needs. Now thats good right, forgetting yourself for others? Wrong. Always look out for number one, it will make you feel alive if you do. Let me explain.

Back in high school I believe I was literally depressed but I didn't want anyone to see how miserable I was, even though I didn't like who I was (to myself). I was always nice to other people and I don't belive I was ever a bad friend or a backstabber, that is the part of myself that I actually did like. The part that I didn't like was the emotionally and socially insecure individual who just wanted to have friends and cared for nothing more. Not even myself. I hated my body image, my inabilities to start or hold a conversation, and my lack of confidence. And I'm almost positive that people saw it regardless of how hard I tried to not show it.

So what did I do? What did I do to make me into the person I am today? The person who is not the "home-body", the person with a social life, the person that many people now call friend. What did I do? Well, for starters I went away to college. Going to college was the biggest thing in my life that enabled this change, I learned a lot. From classes yes, but from others around me even more. I went in to college with the attitude and determination of changing from this miserable person into someone more likable, who that person was in August 2007? I did not know but I was aiming high.

Freshman Year was a great time for me but it was also a transition period where the old me and the "new" me clashed and fought, it tore me up inside. I possibly lost some people that could have been great friends because of my "bi-polar" personality. Included in there are my roommate T.P., the Big Guy, N.P., who wanted to catch squirrels all the time and keep them as pets, and the funny guy who many people liked T.F. I took them all on a roller coaster ride of emotions that first year. But they were the ones that taught me a lot of what I know now, nobody likes the guy who thinks he is perfect. For the reason that they were the first three guys I met and hung out with at Mount, I really wanted to make an impression and I did, but I made the wrong type of impression. I put on this image that I was hot-shit and everyone should like me, wow was I wrong, so so wrong.

Along the years I have slowly turned into the person I am now. But it took time, much longer than I think most people would try and endure. I knew however that a change had to be made, so I set my mind to it. And, at first, I turned into the stereotypical person I pretty much despised, a cocky and collected individual who "didn't care". However, how I felt as this new person was amazing, this new found confidence was like a drug, I couldn't get enough. As time went on and I made more friends who introduced me to there friends and I also met other people in classes. [I started getting a little taste of how it felt to have more than 10 friends (these 10 friends are E.S.; D.S.; J.S.; and another J.S. <--family. G.S.; S.C.; J.S.; G.M.; J.K; and S.D. <--friends.) I have known them for many years and they put it up with all of my bullshit. I'll always be there for you guys, ALWAYS.] Now for the friends I have met over the years (S.H.; B.K.; J.H.; T.P.; G.K.; D.B.; A.A.; R.G.; V.L.; J.S.; M.W.; S.G.; and R.K.), I have grown to love them as well, they were always giving me pointers, advice, a reality check, and friendship. These are the friends I learned from. Whenever we hung out I observed everything they did, from how to talk to girls and how to say certain things, and all the way to what to do on the weekends, and what to do at 3 in the morning. I thank my closest 23 friends for sticking by me through this time that was especially difficult for me.

I have even had one of my closest friends L.A. say how much she "Didn't like the "New Jason"." Now that one hurt, but she knows now that I like who I am and she should respect that, she even admitted I was "growing on her". 

Thank you all for reading this, and if you can really feel and understand my emotion in this then you are either one of my good friends or are more than likely one of the 23.

I am who I am and I love who I am now because I have a life, friends who I couldn't live without, and my amazing girlfriend. I would die for any one of you. I love you all and I would not be the person I am today without you. The person that even I can accept.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

They Grow Up So Fast (That's What She Said)

Ever remember any adult saying that to your parents about you? You don't really think about it but wow, we really do grow up fast, it's bizarre. And going to the title, yes I said it. Well, I guess she did actually but that doesn't matter. This blog is going to be about my thoughts of putting on my big boy pants and stories about me taking them off.

These last few weeks I have been doing some running around getting drug tested, background checks, filling out and turning in paperwork. For what you ask? I'm happy you did ask actually, I have been doing all of this paper work for my second job. This second job being a quote "Grown Up Job" and that job is? Substitute Teaching. Those who know me know that I want to get into Hotel and Hospitality Management. And to those of you who don't know me I want to get into Hotel and Hospitality Management. So with my new found second job, since I'm actually getting two different sub jobs this week, I guess this means I have to grow up a little bit. WRONG. I am growing up and getting a great second job but am I really getting older and wiser?

As these past few years have gone on I have become more and more social and increasingly immature. Now I don't mean immature like I cry about everything, that was only once, but I mean that I care less and less about what I do and how others think of me. Again, don't think I'm throwing lit firecrackers at seagulls or leaving an upper-decker in a Dairy Queen, but I turn around what people say about me and just use it to my advantage. My friends, we will call them "Tom" and "Gus" for simplicity sake, made fun of me because of an adult-story I once told them a few years back. This resulted in a semi-inappropriate gesture of me pointing at an area of my body saying "It's right here" at times. So, for those anxiously awaiting the aforementioned depantsing story here it is: One night, Tom, Gus, "Justin" and "Brett" (other friends) were sitting around one night watching a show on tv, all of the sudden jokes start flying left and right, the jokes turn into them making fun of me for my adult-story. So to put a silence to all of the wish-wash thrown in my direction, I swiftly take off my sweatpants, leaving only boxers on, and I walk over to Gus, throw my leg up onto the couch and while forming a right angle with my legs, I stare him in the eyes and say "It's Right Here". I even have a tweet regarding this tale, look up @suzlooky on may 4th. Looking back on that story I now realize I am in serious need of professional help. The first step to recovery is admitting it.

I enjoy the feeling I get when I make people laugh and if that means not being serious then so be it. I'll be the most ridiculous person you've ever met if you give me enough time to get to know you and your sense of humor.

Now back on the feeling of growing up, I feel that growing up is necessary for all of us to make it to the next level in terms of careers, success, and life (obviously) but maybe taking two steps back every once in a while isnt a bad thing. And who says you can't have a little fun along the way? Taking things so seriously can do really mess with you, I know, I used to take many things seriously. But as the old saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine." and I can totally agree with that.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What to do at 2am?

So I'm sitting here, wide awake on a Wednesday morning at 2am. Not sure what to do, sleep is always a considerable option but I am not tired. Kind of anxious for my fantasy waivers to go through honestly. I got way more into this league than I thought I would but it's a good thing. I now have more stuff to talk about with people and that is never a bad thing, unless it's problems with your digestive system, then you can shut your pie-hole. And maybe quit on the whole pie thing, it's probably whats wrong with your digestive system in the first place. Let's recap: Wednesday, 2am, not sleepy, people, digestive system. Sounds semi-cannibalistic doesn't it? Speaking of cannibals, lets talk funny nicknames for professional teams "The Purple People Eaters", not bad. Which brings me to my main point of this whole blog, Funny Fantasy Football Team Names. Now this is a fun topic because it involves creativity, sarcasm, and originality three things I'm very very average at. Keep in mind, these are all things that come to my head, and be prepared to think about some of these, they do make sense. I promise.

Let's get it started:
-RB Sauce (Abbreviation for Running Back)
-Make It Wayne (Reggie Wayne, even though he sucks)
-It Barely Fitzgerald/Fitzpatrick (Larry Fitzgerald, Ryan Fitzpatrick, I prefer Fitzgerald because of the stereotype that Black men have larger genitalia than any other race)
-No hygiene mean not Washington (Nate Washington)
-The Decker Broncos (Eric Decker who is on the DENVER Broncos)
-Barth Vader (Connor Barth)
-4th and Longwell (Ryan Longwell, a kicker, oh irony)
-Fred's Jacked Son is Buf (Fred Jackson plays for Buffalo)
-Percynally Harvin a Good Time (Percy Harvin)
-Ryan's LongWell I'm Huge (Ryan Longwell, and my team name as of 2am on 10/5/11)
-Eddickson To The Game (Ed Dickson)
-She's crazy, Turner Loose (Michael Turner)
-Well Ainge You Special (Erik Ainge)
-Bulger and Fryes (Marc Bulger and Charlie Frye, now that's a Twofer!)
-Dixon The Wrong Slot (Dennis Dixon)
-Ridley's Believe It Or Not (Steven Ridley)
-Meant to Askew Something (B.J. Askew)
-The Rice is Right (Ray Rice)

Yes, I did come up with all these names on my own. Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.

Please contribute to my blog and come up with some clever names, 30 characters or less!