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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Do You Know Your Enemy?

No, no, not the Green Day song, do you know who the person is that has held you back all your life? Possibly one of your teachers? A childhood friend who has weighed you down? Your parents? Siblings? A neighbor possibly? I don't want to sound mean but I think quite a few people understand or know that, if they had just dropped some "dead weight" in their life, they could be a little bit more successful. There are some people in our lives that maybe take an alternate route along the way and it ultimately sidetracks us from what we wish to accomplish. You want to know who that person was in my life? You really want to know? Me. It was me for the first 18 years of my life. I was my biggest obstacle. I was my biggest challenge. I cared so much about making other people happy that I didn't even tend to my own needs. Now thats good right, forgetting yourself for others? Wrong. Always look out for number one, it will make you feel alive if you do. Let me explain.

Back in high school I believe I was literally depressed but I didn't want anyone to see how miserable I was, even though I didn't like who I was (to myself). I was always nice to other people and I don't belive I was ever a bad friend or a backstabber, that is the part of myself that I actually did like. The part that I didn't like was the emotionally and socially insecure individual who just wanted to have friends and cared for nothing more. Not even myself. I hated my body image, my inabilities to start or hold a conversation, and my lack of confidence. And I'm almost positive that people saw it regardless of how hard I tried to not show it.

So what did I do? What did I do to make me into the person I am today? The person who is not the "home-body", the person with a social life, the person that many people now call friend. What did I do? Well, for starters I went away to college. Going to college was the biggest thing in my life that enabled this change, I learned a lot. From classes yes, but from others around me even more. I went in to college with the attitude and determination of changing from this miserable person into someone more likable, who that person was in August 2007? I did not know but I was aiming high.

Freshman Year was a great time for me but it was also a transition period where the old me and the "new" me clashed and fought, it tore me up inside. I possibly lost some people that could have been great friends because of my "bi-polar" personality. Included in there are my roommate T.P., the Big Guy, N.P., who wanted to catch squirrels all the time and keep them as pets, and the funny guy who many people liked T.F. I took them all on a roller coaster ride of emotions that first year. But they were the ones that taught me a lot of what I know now, nobody likes the guy who thinks he is perfect. For the reason that they were the first three guys I met and hung out with at Mount, I really wanted to make an impression and I did, but I made the wrong type of impression. I put on this image that I was hot-shit and everyone should like me, wow was I wrong, so so wrong.




Along the years I have slowly turned into the person I am now. But it took time, much longer than I think most people would try and endure. I knew however that a change had to be made, so I set my mind to it. And, at first, I turned into the stereotypical person I pretty much despised, a cocky and collected individual who "didn't care". However, how I felt as this new person was amazing, this new found confidence was like a drug, I couldn't get enough. As time went on and I made more friends who introduced me to there friends and I also met other people in classes. [I started getting a little taste of how it felt to have more than 10 friends (these 10 friends are E.S.; D.S.; J.S.; and another J.S. <--family. G.S.; S.C.; J.S.; G.M.; J.K; and S.D. <--friends.) I have known them for many years and they put it up with all of my bullshit. I'll always be there for you guys, ALWAYS.] Now for the friends I have met over the years (S.H.; B.K.; J.H.; T.P.; G.K.; D.B.; A.A.; R.G.; V.L.; J.S.; M.W.; S.G.; and R.K.), I have grown to love them as well, they were always giving me pointers, advice, a reality check, and friendship. These are the friends I learned from. Whenever we hung out I observed everything they did, from how to talk to girls and how to say certain things, and all the way to what to do on the weekends, and what to do at 3 in the morning. I thank my closest 23 friends for sticking by me through this time that was especially difficult for me.

I have even had one of my closest friends L.A. say how much she "Didn't like the "New Jason"." Now that one hurt, but she knows now that I like who I am and she should respect that, she even admitted I was "growing on her". 

Thank you all for reading this, and if you can really feel and understand my emotion in this then you are either one of my good friends or are more than likely one of the 23.

I am who I am and I love who I am now because I have a life, friends who I couldn't live without, and my amazing girlfriend. I would die for any one of you. I love you all and I would not be the person I am today without you. The person that even I can accept.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

They Grow Up So Fast (That's What She Said)

Ever remember any adult saying that to your parents about you? You don't really think about it but wow, we really do grow up fast, it's bizarre. And going to the title, yes I said it. Well, I guess she did actually but that doesn't matter. This blog is going to be about my thoughts of putting on my big boy pants and stories about me taking them off.

These last few weeks I have been doing some running around getting drug tested, background checks, filling out and turning in paperwork. For what you ask? I'm happy you did ask actually, I have been doing all of this paper work for my second job. This second job being a quote "Grown Up Job" and that job is? Substitute Teaching. Those who know me know that I want to get into Hotel and Hospitality Management. And to those of you who don't know me I want to get into Hotel and Hospitality Management. So with my new found second job, since I'm actually getting two different sub jobs this week, I guess this means I have to grow up a little bit. WRONG. I am growing up and getting a great second job but am I really getting older and wiser?

As these past few years have gone on I have become more and more social and increasingly immature. Now I don't mean immature like I cry about everything, that was only once, but I mean that I care less and less about what I do and how others think of me. Again, don't think I'm throwing lit firecrackers at seagulls or leaving an upper-decker in a Dairy Queen, but I turn around what people say about me and just use it to my advantage. My friends, we will call them "Tom" and "Gus" for simplicity sake, made fun of me because of an adult-story I once told them a few years back. This resulted in a semi-inappropriate gesture of me pointing at an area of my body saying "It's right here" at times. So, for those anxiously awaiting the aforementioned depantsing story here it is: One night, Tom, Gus, "Justin" and "Brett" (other friends) were sitting around one night watching a show on tv, all of the sudden jokes start flying left and right, the jokes turn into them making fun of me for my adult-story. So to put a silence to all of the wish-wash thrown in my direction, I swiftly take off my sweatpants, leaving only boxers on, and I walk over to Gus, throw my leg up onto the couch and while forming a right angle with my legs, I stare him in the eyes and say "It's Right Here". I even have a tweet regarding this tale, look up @suzlooky on may 4th. Looking back on that story I now realize I am in serious need of professional help. The first step to recovery is admitting it.

I enjoy the feeling I get when I make people laugh and if that means not being serious then so be it. I'll be the most ridiculous person you've ever met if you give me enough time to get to know you and your sense of humor.

Now back on the feeling of growing up, I feel that growing up is necessary for all of us to make it to the next level in terms of careers, success, and life (obviously) but maybe taking two steps back every once in a while isnt a bad thing. And who says you can't have a little fun along the way? Taking things so seriously can do really mess with you, I know, I used to take many things seriously. But as the old saying goes, "Laughter is the best medicine." and I can totally agree with that.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What to do at 2am?

So I'm sitting here, wide awake on a Wednesday morning at 2am. Not sure what to do, sleep is always a considerable option but I am not tired. Kind of anxious for my fantasy waivers to go through honestly. I got way more into this league than I thought I would but it's a good thing. I now have more stuff to talk about with people and that is never a bad thing, unless it's problems with your digestive system, then you can shut your pie-hole. And maybe quit on the whole pie thing, it's probably whats wrong with your digestive system in the first place. Let's recap: Wednesday, 2am, not sleepy, people, digestive system. Sounds semi-cannibalistic doesn't it? Speaking of cannibals, lets talk funny nicknames for professional teams "The Purple People Eaters", not bad. Which brings me to my main point of this whole blog, Funny Fantasy Football Team Names. Now this is a fun topic because it involves creativity, sarcasm, and originality three things I'm very very average at. Keep in mind, these are all things that come to my head, and be prepared to think about some of these, they do make sense. I promise.

Let's get it started:
-RB Sauce (Abbreviation for Running Back)
-Make It Wayne (Reggie Wayne, even though he sucks)
-It Barely Fitzgerald/Fitzpatrick (Larry Fitzgerald, Ryan Fitzpatrick, I prefer Fitzgerald because of the stereotype that Black men have larger genitalia than any other race)
-No hygiene mean not Washington (Nate Washington)
-The Decker Broncos (Eric Decker who is on the DENVER Broncos)
-Barth Vader (Connor Barth)
-4th and Longwell (Ryan Longwell, a kicker, oh irony)
-Fred's Jacked Son is Buf (Fred Jackson plays for Buffalo)
-Percynally Harvin a Good Time (Percy Harvin)
-Ryan's LongWell I'm Huge (Ryan Longwell, and my team name as of 2am on 10/5/11)
-Eddickson To The Game (Ed Dickson)
-She's crazy, Turner Loose (Michael Turner)
-Well Ainge You Special (Erik Ainge)
-Bulger and Fryes (Marc Bulger and Charlie Frye, now that's a Twofer!)
-Dixon The Wrong Slot (Dennis Dixon)
-Ridley's Believe It Or Not (Steven Ridley)
-Meant to Askew Something (B.J. Askew)
-The Rice is Right (Ray Rice)

Yes, I did come up with all these names on my own. Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.

Please contribute to my blog and come up with some clever names, 30 characters or less!